


Why Does Love Hurt?

by Avery_Fox



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cutting, Denial of Feelings, Depression, Eventual Happy Ending, Family Feels, Human Bill Cipher, Hurt Dipper Pines, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Misunderstandings, One Big Happy Family, Poor Dipper, Protective Bill Cipher, Sad with a Happy Ending, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Supportive Mabel Pines, Triggers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-05-14 09:59:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14767430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avery_Fox/pseuds/Avery_Fox
Summary: Dipper remembered the time when he, Mabel and Soos entered Stan's mind to stop Bill Cipher from gaining access to his safe's code. Now that he remembered, he couldn't shake the feeling that Stan hates him. So he does what any rational pre-teen does and re-enters Stan's mind while he's asleep, once again. This time, he doesn't look back and he doesn't forget.!TRIGGER WARNINGS!Please do not read this story if you are sensitive to these topics: Depression, self-harm and possibly suicide.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The time is set after season 2 has started but before Weirdmageddon, in this story, Weirdmageddon doesn't take place at all. Please take note of the disclaimer in the summary, I don't want to hurt anyone.

Dipper Pines smiled weakly at his friends and sister. There was a deep feeling in his stomach that he didn’t like, it gave him the feeling of throwing up. He sat down next to Mabel who was telling stories to Soos and Waddles about something. Dipper couldn't hear her, the words just flew over his head. Soon enough, Grunkle Stan trudged into the room, scratching his back and yawning, “What time is it?” He asked. Dipper gulped and remembered the words, it cycled over and over in his head.

“5:56 PM!” Mabel replied cheerily, “Come on, Grunkle Stan! The next episode of my favourite show is airing!”

The old man sat down on his sofa chair and Dipper felt even more nauseous than before, his stomach started churning. His head was spinning slightly and he quickly excused himself out of the room. Dipper rushed to the bathroom and immediately started throwing up into the toilet, ‘He’s an utter loser! He’s weak! An embarrassment to the family. I just want to get rid of him.’

Dipper looked at himself in the mirror. His skin was sickeningly pale, almost a light shade of green. He washed his mouth with water and closed the taps. The boy stood in the dark for what felt like hours, the only light that was emitting was the light from the living room which shone into the open door of the bathroom. Before he realised it, he felt warm tears running down his cheeks, a sob followed soon after.

He wanted to find out what his Grunkle Stan thought of him, so he infiltrated his mind while he was asleep once again, only this time, Soos and Mabel weren’t there and they weren’t trying to stop Bill Cipher from finding the code. He wanted to see if Stan truly liked him, or if his mistreatment of the young Pines was coming from disappointment and anger. Dipper thought he was ready for whatever Stan was going to say about him, but when he said he wanted to kick Dipper out, that crossed the line.

Dipper sunk his teeth into his bottom lip, desperately doing his best to stop crying and sobbing like a child. He wiped the tears away and splashed water on his face. Dipper looked back into the mirror. His eyes and face were red and puffy from crying as well as wet from the water, faint tears stained his face and his bottom lip was swelling up because of his teeth. Painfully gulping down a sob, Dipper shakily made his way up to the attic and lied down onto his bed, facing the wall.

His eyes were threatening to shut from fatigue. As he fell into the dark pits of his mind, he could only think of the worst possible scenarios that Grunkle Stan could do to him. Maybe send him back to his parents, abandon him somewhere in the woods…

‘He hates you and it’s all your fault.’


	2. Chapter 2

Dipper woke up, not feeling too great. Memories of yesterday flooding back to him and he sighed. His eyes felt heavy and his mouth was dry, so the first thing he did was try to get some water into his system. Dipper moved his head to look at Mabel, who was sound asleep on her bed with Waddles curled up at the bottom of her feet, ‘The favoured sibling’. He laughed feebly. For some reason, Dipper couldn’t bring himself to get off the bed, he just lied there, blinking. Every time he tried to think of moving, his mind pushed the thought away.

15 minutes had passed after he woke up and Dipper was still staring at the ceiling, ‘Okay… It’s time to get up Dipper.’ He heaved himself and sat up. It felt like such an effort to do anything. His mind and body felt burdensome. Dipper jumped in surprised when Mabel suddenly woke up and jumped down from her bed, “Hey Dipper! Glad to see your awake this early! Come on! I’m going to make my signature Mabel pancakes!!’ She joyously grinned before skipping downstairs with Waddles right behind her. Dipper felt himself laughing out loud, an empty and truly dead laugh, “Yeah… The favoured sibling.”

He must’ve zoned out because sooner or later, Mabel was screaming Dipper’s name for him to come down. Dipper finally got the motivation to move once more and stepped down onto the creaky, wooden floor, “Coming!” He called back before making his way downstairs.

~~~~~

“Gee, Dipper! What took you so long? Did you fall asleep again?” She giggled. Dipper scratched the back of his neck and gave an unsure smile.

“Uh, yeah,” Dipper muttered, sitting down next to Soos. Mabel shoved a plateful of fluffy pancakes, topped with whipped cream, maple syrup, sprinkles and all kinds of sickeningly sweet sugary stuff. Dipper had no appetite but for the sake of his sister’s happiness, he grabbed a fork, sliced into the cooked batter and ate it. The taste made him want to stop eating altogether. Usually, he would actually like Mabel’s pancakes but somehow, it feels different this time. Dipper looked around. Mabel was conversing with Soos and Waddles again, Wendy occasionally came down to get another plate of pancakes before going outside to her sunbed on the roof. Stan was sitting on his seat, binge reading his newspaper and taking little bites of the sweet treat.

“Hey, Dipper!” The said sibling snapped out of his thoughts and looked at Mabel questionably, “What do you think of my new recipe? I added honey, 2 more cups of sugar, some chocolate chips and chocolate bars and gummy bears!” She moved closer to him and whispered into his ear, “And that’s just the batter!”

“Oh, so that’s why it’s so sweet,” Dipper replied bluntly, “U-um… It tastes really good, Mabel! Filled with lots of sugary sweets and… Love!” He hesitantly said the last word. Mabel grinned, showing off her braces.

“Thank you, Dipper! I made it with extra love and extra, extra special ingredients because-” She paused for dramatic effect, “-It’s Grunkle Stan’s birthday, today!!” Mabel picked up a party cracker from on the table and exploded glitter, confetti and streamers everywhere, “Happy birthday, Stan!” Mabel, along with Soos and Wendy, who so happened to be there on time, congratulated. Dipper’s mind clicked and he remembered.

‘That’s right. I forgot it was Stan’s birthday.’ Dipper guiltily thought. He joined in half-way through the birthday song. Mabel was running around, throwing glitter and confetti onto Grunkle Stan, who had stopped reading his newspaper and sighed in annoyance, “Alright, kids, I know it’s my birthday but I still have tours to do today.”

“Come on, Stan! Take it easy for the day,” Mabel proposed. “For today, Dipper, Soos, Wendy, Waddles and I will take care of the Mystery Shack while you sit back and enjoy your birthday! Do whatever you like!”

A sadistic smile made its way to Stan’s face, “I can do anything I like?”

“Anything!!”

Dipper sighed, ‘This is going to be a horrible day.’

~~~~~

And horrible it was. If Dipper had thought Stan hated him before, he sincerely detests him now. Mabel, Soos and Wendy were helping around in the Mystery Shack while he was stuck doing Stan’s chores, again. According to Stan, it was so Dipper wouldn’t go out and spread conspiracies about the monsters he had found in the woods. Dipper turned to look at the snoring figure in front of him.

Slowly, but surely, Grunkle Stan was destroying his hopes on convincing the old man. His other friends had seen at least one paranormal creature before but Dipper guessed they just want to forget the whole incident and continue on with life. He wondered if he was the only one who’s insane, the only one who actually cares about the things going on in Gravity Falls.

The boy sighed and placed the broom so that it was leaning against the wall, ‘I could probably go for some fresh air.’ Dipper wandered into the main shop of the Mystery Shack. From the corner, he watched as Mabel stuck random stickers around the cashier area, Wendy was laughing and doing some rebellious and reckless things, Soos was trying to fix a broken stand and Waddles was being spun around on a chair in the cashier area. Dipper couldn’t help but hold back some tears as the depressing thought travelled through his mind once, ‘They look so happy without me.’

Shaking his head, which he instantly regret doing once it started pounding, Dipper walked out the front door and into the section of the woods where no one would see or find him. He travelled deeper into the foggy abyss, the trunk of trees getting thicker and he could barely see more than 3 metres in front of him. Dipper sat down on the soft and patchy grass and leaned against a giant boulder. It was dangerous for him to be out alone in the woods when any number of deadly creatures could waltz in and kill him. Dipper brought out his journal and stared at the golden plated hand with the number 3 etched into it. He traced the spine of the book and smiled sadly. A droplet of rain splattered across the gold and Dipper looked up at the overcast sky.

One by one, rain started pouring down onto the small figure. Dipper gently slid the book into a big crack on the rock to shield it from the everlasting shower. The boy curled up into a ball and shivered in the cold. While it was cold, almost freezing, he couldn’t help but stay still, he felt comfortable in the rain. 

It was nearly beautiful, the rain. The leaves, grass and rocks were soaked in water, it glistened from the blocked light. The sound of rain pitter-pattered against the ground and boulder. Dipper closed his eyes and reminiscence the storm.

It was good while it lasted. The rain was then filled with the sound of thunder cracking, sounding close to a cannon being fired or a small explosion. Light flashed across the sky and Dipper knew he had to come back to the shack before he gets electrocuted. However, once he stood up to walk back, a loud rustle was heard from a nearby bush. Dipper flinched and immediately was alarmed. His head snapped back and forth to where the sound was as the creature circled the area.

He could feel his heart pounding loudly against his ribcage, his breathing was becoming more erratic and clouds of mist escaped his mouth. The rain was getting stronger and stronger by the minute and it closely felt like needles stabbing his skin. 

There was no more rustling.

Eyes darting to look at each bush before Dipper thought he was safe. He carefully took one step and a twig snapped. All of the sudden, a creature pounced on him. The boy shrieked loudly in pain as the sharp claws of the creature slashed his arm that had to shield his face. Fearful eyes stared back at the monster.

It looked like a panther. The dark and silky fur was covered in rainwater, the creature growled, showing its razor-sharp teeth. The differences about this creature were that it had these strange spikes running down its spine, as well as pure ivory eyes.

Dipper seized his bleeding arm and backed away from the creature. The 12-year-old was trembling in fear, he had no idea what to do. His mind was screaming him to run away, back to the safe haven of the Mystery Shack, but he knew that if he ran back, the creature would surely chase him so Dipper would just be endangering everyone he loved. Dipper stood still, like a statue. The creature took one more step forward and then stood still. Dipper noticed its ear was twitching and it was sniffing around.

‘Can it not see?’ Dipper slowly kneeled down, making sure to stay silent. He carefully picked up a stick with his uninjured arm and threw it a few metres away from them. The stick landed on the ground with a loud snap and the creature instantly moved to look at the source of the sound. The only thing you could hear was the rain before the creature moved towards where the stick was thrown.

Dipper exhaled quietly. His eyes were wide from the incident and his bleeding arm was hurting painfully. He gulped in fear before hesitantly walking back to the shack. Once he was sure the creature couldn’t hear him, he sprinted towards the front door and entered it, slamming the entryway shut.

“Dipper! Where were y-OMG WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR ARM?!” Mabel screamed when she saw the blood dripping from his arm along with the large gashes. Right away, she started looking for a first aid kit, panicking slightly. Dipper opened his mouth to tell her to calm down but she had dashed away before he could.

Another set of footsteps made its way downstairs and Grunkle Stan walked in, holding a cup of coffee. He jumped when he saw the open wounds, nearly dropping his mug, “Jesus Christ, what happened to your arm?” He said in a voice that doesn’t have as much concern as it should.

“Stan! You won’t believe this but I saw this panther-like creature that has white eyes and spikes and it attacked me!” Dipper cried. 

There was a moment of silence before Stan suddenly burst into laughter, “Yeah, right! A panther-like creature! Hahaha! Come on, kid. You really need to stop making up these crazy stories, especially if something as serious as a wound.”

“But, it’s true!”

“Look, kid,” Stan suddenly turned serious, “You probably tripped on a rock and accidentally cut yourself, it is really hard to see outside in the rain after all. If there was a panther close to the Mystery Shack then you would assume it would’ve killed everyone who got close.”

Dipper gritted his teeth in annoyance, ‘Why won’t he listen?!’ “I don’t get you, Stan! You treat every mysterious and paranormal thing you saw as a complete joke! Don’t you remember the Pterodactyls? The zombies? Or do you have memory loss?” By now, Dipper could see from the corner of his eyes that Mabel was standing by the door, holding a first aid kit. She looked scared to enter.

“Kid, there are some things best left forgotten and I think you should get over the ‘abnormal activity’ and go on with life like a normal 12-year-old boy should be. I don’t know, maybe flirt with some girls or whatever, but if I ever hear you make up random stories on these so-called adventures then I’m permanently confiscating that little journal of yours and keeping you in the house for the rest of the summer.” Stan threatened.

“No!” Dipper exasperated, “I’ll show you that they’re real! I can prove it!”

“If you go outside to find any sort of trouble, then it’s your loss! Don’t come crying back to me when you fall again or die.” Dipper flinched at Stan’s harsh voice, “Really, I just think it’ll be better if I send you back home to your parents.”

“But-”

“No, buts!” Stan growled, “End of conversation!”

Dipper’s eyes dropped from his grunkle and his head bowed down so he was staring at the ground. All the anger from back then had turned into sadness. The sharp pain from his gash was now numb and he couldn’t feel anything but an intense chill down his spine. Quieter footsteps approached and he glanced up to see Mabel. Her usual merry grin was stripped from her face and was replaced with concern and worry.

He could tell she wanted to say something about Stan and his argument but decided against it, knowing that his wounds was top priority, “Here, sit down.” She brought over a chair and Dipper did as he was told.

The twins stayed in silence, the thunder cracks shook the shack and sporadically, the light would flicker and turn off for a few seconds. Mabel was surprisingly silent, focusing completely on his arm. Dipper hissed in pain when she began putting on the disinfectant, she gave him a reassuring smile. Minutes passed and his arm was wrapped in bandages, “There we go.” She sighed softly.

“Thanks, Mabel.”

“Don’t mention it.” There was a second of silence before she spoke up again, “You know… I’ll always support you. What Grunkle Stan said back then was wrong,” She wrapped her arm around him and gave him a semi-tight hug, “Just… Don’t get hurt again… I almost fainted when I saw you.”

Dipper smiled sadly and, with his free hand, finished the hug, “Sorry…”

“Love you.”

“Love you, too, sis.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dang, I am not good at writing arguments, hahaha. Hope you enjoyed that chapter!
> 
> In some sad Gravity Falls stories I read, I noticed how in practically all the stories, Mabel was against Dipper whenever he was confronted. I thought it was pretty weird how someone who cares so much about Dipper would just leave him like that so I decided to make Mabel very supportive in this story!


	3. Chapter 3

“Woah, Dipper, what happened to your arm?” Wendy asked when she saw the bandages surrounding Dipper’s left arm. Dipper’s eyes wandered down to his bandages and he laughed uncertainty.

“Oh, I just… Tripped, yesterday.” Dipper lied, “While it was raining, I couldn’t see so I accidentally tripped and cut myself.”

Wendy nodded and smiled, “Hope you get better soon and be careful next time, it gets boring around here and I wanna do something fun.” She opened her phone and started texting someone.

“Who are you texting?”

“Just the gang, we’re hanging out in a few minutes.” She grinned. Wendy put her phone back in her pocket. Dipper lit up.

“Do you mind if I join?”

Wendy’s smile dropped and she stared at his bandaged arm, “But your arm, Dipper, I can’t let you come if your injured.”

“Right.” ‘Useless.’ Dipper shook his head at the thought, “I’ll be heading outside now. If anyone needs me then feel free to call for me.” He said. Dipper ran out of the shack and sighed, “Stupid arm.” He glared at the injured limb. Dipper reached from inside his vest to find his journal, only to find nothing there, “Wha-Oh right, I left it by that boulder.”

He looked at the direction where he walked off yesterday. There was no more fog since the sun was out today, ‘I’m technically not finding trouble.’ Was the excuse Dipper made up before he made his way into the woods.

It was much less scary than yesterday, the fog and overcast had turned the forest into something that came out of a horror movie or game. Now it was bright, the sun was shining down. Birds were chirping and singing morning tunes. The rays of sun reflected off the raindrops as they slowly dripped from the leaves of trees. Dipper saw the boulder after a minute of looking around. He sped up his pace and ran over to the side where he knew the crack was.

Blood ran from his face and his eyes widened when he didn’t see the journal there, ‘Shoot! Did someone or something take it?!’ He internally panicked. Dipper circled around the boulder, checking it to see if maybe the journal but to no avail, he couldn’t find the book. Dipper swore loudly and groaned, “Great, I lost probably the most important book to me. What am I going to do?!”

A light breeze blew by and Dipper slowly slid down against the boulder, “You’re such an idiot.” He yelled at himself. A loud echoey laughter resonated through the woods. Dipper knew that laughter anywhere. He hoisted himself up and looked around, “Bill? It’s you, isn’t it? Give me back my book!”

A figure poked out from behind a tree. Dipper tilted his head in confusion. The boy looked to be around Wendy’s age, 15. He had light brown skin, a dark brown eye with the other one being covered by a triangular eye patch and a section of his hair dyed bright blonde. The ‘teen’ wore a black top hat, black collared shirt, black slacks, black dress shoes, a red bow tie and a bright yellow tailcoat with decorations that looked similar to bricks, “Well, if it isn’t my favourite, annoying Pine Tree!” The man laughed. Dipper took a step back.

“Bill?!” Dipper exclaimed. Bill hovered above the boy and grinned.

“That’s my name, don’t wear it out!” Dipper’s eyes inspected the boy in front of him. He did heavily remind the pre-teen of Bill, and his voice was the same…

“How? What? Why?”

“God, you should see your face, right now! It’s hilarious!” Dipper sighed as the laughter was heard over and over again.

“Look, Bill, I don’t know why you’re here or why you're all… human-like but can I please have my journal back?” Dipper pleaded. Bill placed a finger on his chin to form a thinking pose. He over exaggerated the hm’s and er’s.

“How about…” Dipper’s eyes lit up for a second, “No!” The boy groaned and facepalmed, ‘What did I expect?’ He thought.

“Come on, Bill, I don’t have all day and Grunkle Stan would no doubt start yelling at me again once he finds out I’m in the woods again,” Dipper told. Bill hovered above Dipper and took out the book from the inside of his tailcoat pocket. Holding it above arm's reach, Dipper could only feebly jump and reached for it, “Bill!”

“Hahaha, you should see yourself, Pine Tree. Absolutely pathetic.” Dipper stopped mid-jump and bit his lip. Bill noted the abrupt change in the boy but tried ignoring it, “Already giving up? I assume you would’ve done some intelligent thing to trick me but I guess not.” He teased, “Not like any plan you have could fool me, I can still read your mind, you know.”

“Riiight.” Dipper awkwardly laughed and did his best to blank his mind. Bill tilted his head before the familiar grin spread across his face, “Can you just… Give it back? Please?” He tried asking once again. A suspicious expression masked Bill’s face. He shrugged and chucked the book into Dipper’s free arm, “Wait… You’re actually giving it back?” Dipper narrowed his eyes.

“Does it look like it? Now run along before I change my mind and teleport the book back.” Bill dismissively gestured Dipper to leave. The boy raised an eyebrow before slowly heading back. Once he was out of sight and inside the shack, ‘That was strange.’ Bill thought. He shrugged and disappeared from the sky.

~~~~~

‘Pathetic… Pathetic…’ The word cycled in his mind. Dipper was lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling. His mind went deeper into the cycle and darkness as he recalled the memory of what Stan thought of him and the argument yesterday, ‘Maybe I really am crazy.’ Tears stinging his eyes and he felt the cool liquid run down the sides of his face. A surge of pain ran through his body with every degrading word that pops up in his head and with every sob that escapes his mouth.

He turned over to his side and tried wiping away the tears, repeatedly muttering ‘I’m fine’ under his breath, the words broken by infrequent gasps. His breath hitched when he heard the door slam open, “Dipper!” His sister’s voice cheered. Dipper doesn’t respond. He stays silent, covering his mouth to muffle the hiccups and eyes wide, scared of Mabel finding out.

It went silent for a while before Mabel chirped up again, “He must be asleep.” She openly thought, her voice now hushed. She slowly closed the door which creaked loudly from lack of oil, “I’ll wake you up in 3 hours, sleep tight, Dip!”

Once Mabel was out of ear’s reach, Dipper burst into a fit of coughing. His breathing became erratic and heavy, tears were forming a large wet stain on his pillow, ‘M-maybe I should sleep…?’ He shakily let out a breath and closed his eyes. Occasionally, there would be a sniff and a few hiccups coming from him but sooner than later, he fell asleep.

Unbeknownst to Dipper, a certain triangular-now human-dream demon was floating from outside the window. A concerned face masked his normally snide or snarky expression. Suddenly, Bill Cipher regretted his words from before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if it's a good chapter or not but... enjoy!

**Author's Note:**

> Please keep in mind that I am not an active writer and at times, I tend to lose interest in stories I write, especially multi-chapter stories. I'm going to try to keep this story up to date but no promises.


End file.
